I did not realize that it has been more than two months since I last wrote. To summarize, the last few weeks have been one giant roller coaster ride, thanks to my courageous attempt to once again shake things up.
I have been calling the Jumeirah Lake Towers area my home for a month and a few days now. Before that, I have had to sit down with various people from the company to arrange the terms of the loan, canvas several apartments, buy stuff for the home, appeal to the goodness of my colleagues and friends, make arrangements for the moving company, phone, cable, internet, DEWA and aircon and still adapt to the many changes at work. Who said moving to your own place was ever easy?
The decision to move has been a hard and I daresay a risky one. I have enjoyed the company of my flatmates for 14 months but I yearned for more space - space to think, to breathe and to cry. The seed of desire was inadvertently planted by John, whom I accompanied in his search for his first place in Dubai one fine afternoon. I thought that after three years, it was high time to aspire for something bigger. Luckily, my colleagues were all behind me and it was not very long before I finally had the keys to my very own place.
Everyone did their bit to help - from helping me move my stuff from the old flat, to giving away their sofabed and kitchenware (I only had 2 of everything, lol!), to giving their time to buy the TV and haul it in the car. Others provided moral support at times when I felt overwhelmed with the task at hand. I feel truly blessed - I must have done something right to deserve the kindness that I received over the last few weeks.
On the social front, all is fine - still going out with the same group that was formed after a meetup in the Japanese resto. I think I have scraped the bottom in terms of forming friendships with the people at work so their presence have spelled a big difference in my life. John in particular has been instrumental in helping me meet other people - first his flatmates and then his flatmates' friends at house parties. The Americans are back in the radar, yey! :) In addition to that, I have also made friends with a non-drinking set composed of an American, 2 Moroccans and 2 South Africans. It is comforting to make new friends again - I now have people to do things and share meals with - but only time will tell if they will remain companions in this Dubai journey or turn out to be real friends. I admit that I still bear scars of the people who have left my life and at this point I am not about to throw myself again to unchartered territory. John, by far, is the most accessible - living just across the road in JBR and is only a Whatsapp message away. Aside from my bestfriend, John has now become my sounding board. I feel very lucky to have him around! :)
Work-wise, everything is as complicated as it once was! After being shifted to the Recruitment Specialist role in June, they realized the setup would not work so I was back in reception in July. I am very demotivated at the moment because the hope of career growth just went pffft once again. I still enjoy being of help to everyone and they know they can rely on me for that - but it is the constant micromanaging for an unknown purpose that is making my life miserable. The lack of clarity in the chain of command, so to speak, is doing more harm than good. I even think it was better when we were left to our own devices. Everyday, I am beginning to lose faith in the leadership and with it, the hope of ever progressing in my career is slowly fading. I am willing to ride out yet another wave of discontent but this time I am unsure how long I can still hold.
The people whom I thought I have lost have begun coming back (or at least one of them definitely is) in one way or another. Whether they stay remains to be seen but I will not exert any more effort to save myself from any disappointments again.
I suppose you cannot have it all but it should not stop you from aspiring for something better. I am comforted by the fact that when everything else is turning crappy, I can go home, have a good cry and relax. I enjoy the process of making this house a home. I love being able to rediscover my passion for cooking for in immersing myself in it, I regain a sense of control. I love that I can now watch TV again, even though I have a crappy cable subscription. Best of all, I love that I have a big bed - now I can finally sleep in peace and dream of more wonderful things! :)
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
31st of May
I think it is but fitting to write on the last day of May to remember both the good and not-so-good things about this month.
New month, new gameplan - workwise, that is. The first day of this month ushered in my 3-days-in-Dubai-2-days-in-Abu-Dhabi routine. I am now officially a 50% document controller for Al Bateen Wharf Project in Abu Dhabi and a 50% all-around admin support staff (among many other things) providing support for the 3 offices in the Middle East. In short, I have to wake up at 5am, catch the "school bus" at 645am and report to work at 8ish am in Abu Dhabi. The same routine applies going back to Dubai and depending on what time we leave the office and the traffic along that boring stretch of road, I should be home at 8pm at the latest. Suffice it to say that the whole waking up and trying to sleep early the night before business could be daunting. All this stress for nothing - I still end up doing Dubai stuff only because my whole team is on site and are hardly in the Abu Dhabi office. Unfortunately, we have promised the Client that the whole team would be based there so 3 out of 5 have to suffer from this arrangement. The good thing is at least I get to see more of Abu Dhabi (getting to work is like a sightseeing trip of T&T's projects both past and present) and it gives me an opportunity to get to know the people there. Of course what makes this commute doubly exhausting is I have to speak in English so early in the morning, converse with the driver and stay awake the whole trip. Eeeeekkk!
My brother visited Dubai again after almost a year (and that's the same amount of time that I haven't seen him). He is now based in Oman, surrounded by sand and goats, he says. I am happy to see him again though I found myself complaining to him today that it was not enough (after all, it was about 2 hours watching the movie and another 2 hours eating, walking and taking pictures). Please refer to the previous blog entry for my thoughts on his visit.
I spent the next few weekends in the company of my flatmates and my roommate's visiting family. It was another excuse for us to prepare a feast and of course, to take pictures.
May also marked the loss of two of my closest friends in Dubai. Sadly, they were casualties to this dangerous game that Stranger and I continued to play for almost 3 years now. It took a brief and unplanned conversation with one of them for me to breakdown. All that hurt and frustration had to give at some point. I may not have felt the impact in April when it all happened because Singapore turned out to be my saving grace. However, that all came back in this conversation. I still feel betrayed and hurt by someone's paranoid and selfish act. Stranger may have saved himself from trouble but I lost two people whom he very well knew were very dear to me. I had to give them up so they would not be dragged any further in this mess. I still feel sad from time to time but there is absolutely nothing I can do.
And so it is in this somewhat unhappy state that John* happened to find me. I think my roommate was a bit concerned about me being in the center of unfortunate events. She thought of introducing me to their office newbie so at least somebody can show him around Dubai and I would have some form of distraction. I was very skeptical to say the least but I showed up at Nando's for Ate. Luckily, John, in his jetlag mode, was very chatty. I could sense that we would click. I think I have found another kindred spirit in my midst. There was a relief in hearing that American accent all over again. Before the night was over, he already got invited to the flat party the next evening. It wasn't long before he won the flat over - he's just super game for anything: karaoke, Pinoy food and later in the bar, drinking and dancing! I concluded that my life in Dubai was just about to become a little bit more colorful.
On Wednesday, we had dinner with his fellow newbie (oh, I was only up for a gelato - 3 scoops of it, hehe) in Al Dente. The next evening, we watched Hangover 2 and had dinner at Burger King. Friday night was spent with the Tiffin Club at Kisaku Restaurant in Deira where we met fellow food enthusiasts. He seemed to enjoy the company of the group that it was my turn to get dragged for drinks at Belgian Beer Cafe in DFC. It was good fun hanging out with a Filipino, 2 Americans, an Englishman and a Singaporean. This clique looks promising - they are all warm and just open to trying things that Dubai has to offer.
May also had its share of domestic squabbles towards the end of the month. Just last week, my roommate disrupted our sleep for two days in a row because he was so drunk! That pissed me off and so I have decided to just keep my mouth shut and see how this all goes. Two of the most important things here are my sleep and my food. I am already trying my best to get decent sleep as it is and any further distractions can just drive me insane. I ended up crying in the bathroom because the alarm would not stop ringing for about 30 minutes already and it was just a little before 6am on a Friday! It also does not help that no one seems to care about buying food even though the supplies are already running low. In addition, dinner would be served at 9pm, knowing fully well that I cannot eat that late. I do not want to aggravate this "sleeping problem". Sometimes I want to shout out of frustration but I decided to just cook for myself or eat very little at dinner. I am still having trouble sleeping either way. I might just resort to taking antihistamines again. :(
Still not getting very far, as far as tanning is concerned. I bought tanning oil on a whim because I wanted a bit of color to my already-becoming-a-lighter-shade-of-brown skin. I seriously don't understand how people can stay very long in the sun! Perhaps I just need more patience but I must admit that there is a sense of freedom in wearing a two-piece swimsuit and basking in the sun away from the prying eyes of the public. It's always good to tune out from time to time!
Fortunately, this month ends on a positive note. After almost three years, I finally got a raise - not much, but it's still something. At least my flight allowance now is AED3,000 as opposed to AED2,400 (Hello, Emirates?!?!). Surprisingly, Her Highness partly made this possible! She must have written a very good recommendation letter for it to get approved. I shared the news to her and said thank you. She told me that she always puts in a good word for me. Well I never! The most demanding woman in the office (who also happens to be the head of my project) is actually appreciating my work!!! It's always good to know that I am doing something right.
Today, I participated in a photo shoot for the Annual Review. It's a good opportunity to be seen, I suppose, given that the theme is diversity. We will probably be the first Pinoys to be seen in the company's global publication. Perhaps I will finally get around to submitting my piece for the People Showcase in T2 (our company's intranet). It's high time they put the spotlight on the admin staff! It's time to put a face to the name and the voice of T&T's cheeky receptionist in Dubai. These will probably be my legacy before I (hopefully) move on to my next adventure.
So what's in store for the month of June? Rain? Nah. Rising temperatures, ideas for indoor activity, daydreaming about travel, more food adventures and bonding time with John* and the rest of the gang and hopefully more time for updating my blogs! Oh, and I should finally be able to build the Burj Khalifa Lego model by then!!!
New month, new gameplan - workwise, that is. The first day of this month ushered in my 3-days-in-Dubai-2-days-in-Abu-Dhabi routine. I am now officially a 50% document controller for Al Bateen Wharf Project in Abu Dhabi and a 50% all-around admin support staff (among many other things) providing support for the 3 offices in the Middle East. In short, I have to wake up at 5am, catch the "school bus" at 645am and report to work at 8ish am in Abu Dhabi. The same routine applies going back to Dubai and depending on what time we leave the office and the traffic along that boring stretch of road, I should be home at 8pm at the latest. Suffice it to say that the whole waking up and trying to sleep early the night before business could be daunting. All this stress for nothing - I still end up doing Dubai stuff only because my whole team is on site and are hardly in the Abu Dhabi office. Unfortunately, we have promised the Client that the whole team would be based there so 3 out of 5 have to suffer from this arrangement. The good thing is at least I get to see more of Abu Dhabi (getting to work is like a sightseeing trip of T&T's projects both past and present) and it gives me an opportunity to get to know the people there. Of course what makes this commute doubly exhausting is I have to speak in English so early in the morning, converse with the driver and stay awake the whole trip. Eeeeekkk!
My brother visited Dubai again after almost a year (and that's the same amount of time that I haven't seen him). He is now based in Oman, surrounded by sand and goats, he says. I am happy to see him again though I found myself complaining to him today that it was not enough (after all, it was about 2 hours watching the movie and another 2 hours eating, walking and taking pictures). Please refer to the previous blog entry for my thoughts on his visit.
I spent the next few weekends in the company of my flatmates and my roommate's visiting family. It was another excuse for us to prepare a feast and of course, to take pictures.
May also marked the loss of two of my closest friends in Dubai. Sadly, they were casualties to this dangerous game that Stranger and I continued to play for almost 3 years now. It took a brief and unplanned conversation with one of them for me to breakdown. All that hurt and frustration had to give at some point. I may not have felt the impact in April when it all happened because Singapore turned out to be my saving grace. However, that all came back in this conversation. I still feel betrayed and hurt by someone's paranoid and selfish act. Stranger may have saved himself from trouble but I lost two people whom he very well knew were very dear to me. I had to give them up so they would not be dragged any further in this mess. I still feel sad from time to time but there is absolutely nothing I can do.
And so it is in this somewhat unhappy state that John* happened to find me. I think my roommate was a bit concerned about me being in the center of unfortunate events. She thought of introducing me to their office newbie so at least somebody can show him around Dubai and I would have some form of distraction. I was very skeptical to say the least but I showed up at Nando's for Ate. Luckily, John, in his jetlag mode, was very chatty. I could sense that we would click. I think I have found another kindred spirit in my midst. There was a relief in hearing that American accent all over again. Before the night was over, he already got invited to the flat party the next evening. It wasn't long before he won the flat over - he's just super game for anything: karaoke, Pinoy food and later in the bar, drinking and dancing! I concluded that my life in Dubai was just about to become a little bit more colorful.
On Wednesday, we had dinner with his fellow newbie (oh, I was only up for a gelato - 3 scoops of it, hehe) in Al Dente. The next evening, we watched Hangover 2 and had dinner at Burger King. Friday night was spent with the Tiffin Club at Kisaku Restaurant in Deira where we met fellow food enthusiasts. He seemed to enjoy the company of the group that it was my turn to get dragged for drinks at Belgian Beer Cafe in DFC. It was good fun hanging out with a Filipino, 2 Americans, an Englishman and a Singaporean. This clique looks promising - they are all warm and just open to trying things that Dubai has to offer.
May also had its share of domestic squabbles towards the end of the month. Just last week, my roommate disrupted our sleep for two days in a row because he was so drunk! That pissed me off and so I have decided to just keep my mouth shut and see how this all goes. Two of the most important things here are my sleep and my food. I am already trying my best to get decent sleep as it is and any further distractions can just drive me insane. I ended up crying in the bathroom because the alarm would not stop ringing for about 30 minutes already and it was just a little before 6am on a Friday! It also does not help that no one seems to care about buying food even though the supplies are already running low. In addition, dinner would be served at 9pm, knowing fully well that I cannot eat that late. I do not want to aggravate this "sleeping problem". Sometimes I want to shout out of frustration but I decided to just cook for myself or eat very little at dinner. I am still having trouble sleeping either way. I might just resort to taking antihistamines again. :(
Still not getting very far, as far as tanning is concerned. I bought tanning oil on a whim because I wanted a bit of color to my already-becoming-a-lighter-shade-of-brown skin. I seriously don't understand how people can stay very long in the sun! Perhaps I just need more patience but I must admit that there is a sense of freedom in wearing a two-piece swimsuit and basking in the sun away from the prying eyes of the public. It's always good to tune out from time to time!
Fortunately, this month ends on a positive note. After almost three years, I finally got a raise - not much, but it's still something. At least my flight allowance now is AED3,000 as opposed to AED2,400 (Hello, Emirates?!?!). Surprisingly, Her Highness partly made this possible! She must have written a very good recommendation letter for it to get approved. I shared the news to her and said thank you. She told me that she always puts in a good word for me. Well I never! The most demanding woman in the office (who also happens to be the head of my project) is actually appreciating my work!!! It's always good to know that I am doing something right.
Today, I participated in a photo shoot for the Annual Review. It's a good opportunity to be seen, I suppose, given that the theme is diversity. We will probably be the first Pinoys to be seen in the company's global publication. Perhaps I will finally get around to submitting my piece for the People Showcase in T2 (our company's intranet). It's high time they put the spotlight on the admin staff! It's time to put a face to the name and the voice of T&T's cheeky receptionist in Dubai. These will probably be my legacy before I (hopefully) move on to my next adventure.
So what's in store for the month of June? Rain? Nah. Rising temperatures, ideas for indoor activity, daydreaming about travel, more food adventures and bonding time with John* and the rest of the gang and hopefully more time for updating my blogs! Oh, and I should finally be able to build the Burj Khalifa Lego model by then!!!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
May Movie Marathon
The last time I watched a movie was in February, when I was running out of other things to do. Luckily, I was given a free ticket so I had no excuse. I remember wanting to watch Yogi Bear but learned that the ticket did not cover 3D movies. I ended up going alone to see No Strings Attached. I was thinking how apt it was because Somebody was celebrating his birthday that day. It was your usual rom-com but I enjoyed it nonetheless.
Now, as the first week of May comes to an end, I have already watched 2 movies for 2 consecutive days. I saw Thor in 3D with my flatmate (who was seeing a 3D movie for the first time!) and by the end of the movie, we were both gushing about how Chris Hemsworth (Thor) had a striking resemblance to Brad Pitt in Troy! I enjoyed the movie immensely and wondered how much hard work has been done to make everything look so amazing! I was a big fan of Greek, Roman and Norse mythologies as a kid and it was really great to see Asgard and the Norse gods come to life! I am not sure though whether the movie was faithful to the Marvel comics version as I have not read it but thought the plot was interesting enough to keep the audience hooked till the very end! Love, love, love the movie and love, love, love Thor! ;-)
Today (well, yesterday) I saw Fast 5 with my brother who was visiting from Oman, his wife and her relative. I think sitting just two rows from the screen made it more exciting and heart-stopping for me! I saw the fourth installment with him too but we both agreed that this one is so much better. I think you can never go wrong with throwing hot chicks, equally hot men, hotter cars and sizzling action scenes that will keep you on the edge! Highly entertaining, what else can I say?
I did not realize until now how much I have missed my brother who has always been my Dubai movie buddy. My kuya is really passionate about films and is the perfect companion whenever a big movie comes up (well he is the perfect punch bag too, hehe!). He will patiently explain the plot especially if the movie is part of a series I have not watched. I always have fun reviewing the movie with him afterwards. Plus, it is always fun watching guy movies with a brother who will fill in the gaps for his sometimes clueless girly-girl sister. I enjoy rom-coms and cartoons but I also have a penchant for action movies. Hence, it is a joy for me to watch Fast 5 even if I don't know how to drive (he does), shoot with a gun (he does) or fight (he does). The reason is simple: I can indulge my boyish side and still be my brother's little sister.
Come to think of it, perhaps that is the reason why I have stopped going to the cinema for a while. Sure, other movie buddies have come and gone, but nothing beats watching the big movies on the big screen with my big brother. I sure hope he will be in town when X-Men and the Transformers hit the cinemas!!!
Now, as the first week of May comes to an end, I have already watched 2 movies for 2 consecutive days. I saw Thor in 3D with my flatmate (who was seeing a 3D movie for the first time!) and by the end of the movie, we were both gushing about how Chris Hemsworth (Thor) had a striking resemblance to Brad Pitt in Troy! I enjoyed the movie immensely and wondered how much hard work has been done to make everything look so amazing! I was a big fan of Greek, Roman and Norse mythologies as a kid and it was really great to see Asgard and the Norse gods come to life! I am not sure though whether the movie was faithful to the Marvel comics version as I have not read it but thought the plot was interesting enough to keep the audience hooked till the very end! Love, love, love the movie and love, love, love Thor! ;-)
Today (well, yesterday) I saw Fast 5 with my brother who was visiting from Oman, his wife and her relative. I think sitting just two rows from the screen made it more exciting and heart-stopping for me! I saw the fourth installment with him too but we both agreed that this one is so much better. I think you can never go wrong with throwing hot chicks, equally hot men, hotter cars and sizzling action scenes that will keep you on the edge! Highly entertaining, what else can I say?
I did not realize until now how much I have missed my brother who has always been my Dubai movie buddy. My kuya is really passionate about films and is the perfect companion whenever a big movie comes up (well he is the perfect punch bag too, hehe!). He will patiently explain the plot especially if the movie is part of a series I have not watched. I always have fun reviewing the movie with him afterwards. Plus, it is always fun watching guy movies with a brother who will fill in the gaps for his sometimes clueless girly-girl sister. I enjoy rom-coms and cartoons but I also have a penchant for action movies. Hence, it is a joy for me to watch Fast 5 even if I don't know how to drive (he does), shoot with a gun (he does) or fight (he does). The reason is simple: I can indulge my boyish side and still be my brother's little sister.
Come to think of it, perhaps that is the reason why I have stopped going to the cinema for a while. Sure, other movie buddies have come and gone, but nothing beats watching the big movies on the big screen with my big brother. I sure hope he will be in town when X-Men and the Transformers hit the cinemas!!!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The Price I Paid
Two years to the day of that near-fatal mistake and in the light of recent events, I realize that now is the best time to take stock of the relationships I have had since I landed here in August 2008. Coming here, I thought that making friends would be easy and I would have a diverse set of friends in no time. Nearly three years later, the people I have met and have considered as friends, at least to some extent, have a) left the country for various reasons, b) done some unacceptable things over a period of time that it was best to just drop them and c) continued to be my friends in a not-so-involved level. Those who have remained all happen to be fellow Pinoys who I live or have lived with. The other two are both my friends since college days. Perhaps their constant presence is the primary reason why I continue to survive. I found comfort in the fact that somebody will always be there to hear me out no matter what mood I am in. They serve as my surrogate family, stepping into the shoes of real family members who sometimes forget - asking me how I am, if I have eaten, giving me advice and alcohol relief when the going gets tough, etc. - things I will be forever grateful for. This kind of constancy, sadly, is sorely lacking in the other relationships. Maybe it's the transient nature of the country, or maybe it's the culture they grew up with, I am not sure. All I know is that I either become distant or I make an effort which, in their view is just a bit too much. Just where does one draw the line?
I think I will be kinder to myself from now on. Today, I am resigning to the fact that there will be no room for deep connections in a place like this. People will come and go and I can no longer look beyond each moment that I share with the people who I am with. There won't be any more effort to try and get to know people in a deeper level. No more thoughtful gestures except for the people who really matter. I will only give back what is given to me, however difficult it may be for me who derives happiness in going the extra mile for somebody. The real Roma will only be revealed to those who will display true commitment. I have had enough of wearing my heart on my sleeve. The barriers are now up. Two years ago, I honestly thought that someone finally understood me and got my back. Unfortunately, I was not up to his standards and so it was very convenient for him to drop me again, and again, and again. The same situation would happen with someone else later on. Estoy muy cansada. No mas.
Sadly, it seems that missing the company of true friends is the highest price I paid for leaving the motherland. Until I come home, everyone else will just be fellow travellers joining me till the next crossroad. Until I come home, I will never be fully able to be myself. For now, this is the only way I can think of to survive the harsh reality of living a strange life in a strange land.
I think I will be kinder to myself from now on. Today, I am resigning to the fact that there will be no room for deep connections in a place like this. People will come and go and I can no longer look beyond each moment that I share with the people who I am with. There won't be any more effort to try and get to know people in a deeper level. No more thoughtful gestures except for the people who really matter. I will only give back what is given to me, however difficult it may be for me who derives happiness in going the extra mile for somebody. The real Roma will only be revealed to those who will display true commitment. I have had enough of wearing my heart on my sleeve. The barriers are now up. Two years ago, I honestly thought that someone finally understood me and got my back. Unfortunately, I was not up to his standards and so it was very convenient for him to drop me again, and again, and again. The same situation would happen with someone else later on. Estoy muy cansada. No mas.
Sadly, it seems that missing the company of true friends is the highest price I paid for leaving the motherland. Until I come home, everyone else will just be fellow travellers joining me till the next crossroad. Until I come home, I will never be fully able to be myself. For now, this is the only way I can think of to survive the harsh reality of living a strange life in a strange land.
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Holy Week That Was...
For Christians all over the world, Easter marks the culmination of the whole Lenten season. To many, it also marks the end of a 40-day long sacrifice. I can proudly say that this year may be my best ever yet, in terms of sacrifice. For this Lenten season, I have decided to give up alcohol. Now, this is not to say that I am an alcoholic. I do enjoy social drinking, just that it happens almost every week, thanks to my flatmates who seem to share the passion for this type of activity. I cannot stress how hard it is to resist on several occasions - Stranger in town for a visit, a flatmate's birthday celebration that started at home and ended in the neighboring Pinoy bar, coming home and spending 2 weekends there, visiting a happening place like Singapore and the team dinner at Media Rotana on Maundy Thursday. There was only one day that I faltered, and perhaps God will understand and make an exception - the toast at my childhood bestfriend's wedding. As a result, I have had to content myself with drinking water and cola while the rest drank beer and tequila. Last Thursday, the cranberry vodka just became a cranberry cooler - cranberry juice mixed with a bit of Sprite. The plan to do something unique, that is, visiting a gay bar in Singapore had to be scrapped because my friend was also giving up alcohol for Lent.
Last week, I decided to level up by foregoing meat for the rest of the Holy Week. The first day also saw me giving up rice for a day and I must say that drove me nearly mad. I joked that I would be one cranky woman by the end of the week! Surprisingly, it wasn't so bad as I pictured it to be. I was forced to turn to fruits and veggies for sustenance and even managed to experiment with some salmon recipes in the process. I ate less amounts of rice and calmed down when I realized that I can still have pasta and bread for my carbs.
My last challenge was also the hardest. I decided to try my hand at fasting - restricting myself to just one meal for the whole day. With only mushroom soup, spanish sardines pasta, fruit juice, a bowl of grapes and lots of resolve to last the whole day, I tried my best to enjoy my Friday. I swam, spent some time in the sauna and even managed to clean the flat's common areas by myself (my cleaning partner was a no-show). At some point, I even thought of food blogging but decided against it. I just ended up watching Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations episode on Singapore. Well if I can't eat food, I might as well just watch it! :) Towards the end, both me and my stomach were grumbling. Good thing my friend put things in perspective: "Just pray for the people who have to face hunger everyday." Soon enough, midnight came. I survived!!! To break the fast, I ate some leftover shrimp and egg salad with some Arabic flat bread. They tasted like heaven to one hungry woman! :)
I may not have lost weight from the experiment but there is a sense of satisfaction for having completed these challenges. I realize that I have been lax with myself for the longest time, often choosing what is convenient over what would be good for me, both in terms of food and relationships. I do not have to take whatever or whoever is there just because they are there. I have become too focused with goals that may take months or even years to realize, forgetting that I can also set small ones, enjoy the little rewards and use them to fuel the bigger goals. I am thankful for Lek and the brief stay in Singapore - both happened at a time when I thought things were falling apart. Now it turns out that the trip was my saving grace - it filled my tummy with good food and my head with new inspiration. It also served to cushion me from the ensuing events. I am not too bothered anymore with what happens because a) if things took a turn for the worse, that means I am off to my next adventure somewhere else or b) if things start falling into place then it means I will stay here for a longer period of time. I am thankful for the opportunity to gain a better perspective of things. It is really true that in giving up, you are also gaining something. I am finding myself yet again. Hooray for new beginnings! Happy Easter! :)
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Duh!
Sometimes you just get the weirdest call...
Roma: Good morning Turner & Townsend!
Caller: So your office is open, huh?
Roma: I'm sorry? (Did I hear the question right? I am slightly annoyed.)
Caller: Your office is open today?
Roma: Obviously, you are talking to someone - so yes! (Insert visibly annoyed tone here. Almost tempted to say, "This is an answering machine. Please leave a message after the tone. Toooooooooooooooootttttttttt!)
I suppose it was time for my daily dose of stupid morning caller. Grrr... (Insert eyeroll here.)
Roma: Good morning Turner & Townsend!
Caller: So your office is open, huh?
Roma: I'm sorry? (Did I hear the question right? I am slightly annoyed.)
Caller: Your office is open today?
Roma: Obviously, you are talking to someone - so yes! (Insert visibly annoyed tone here. Almost tempted to say, "This is an answering machine. Please leave a message after the tone. Toooooooooooooooootttttttttt!)
I suppose it was time for my daily dose of stupid morning caller. Grrr... (Insert eyeroll here.)
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Home...Again!
It seems clearly insane to come home three times in a span of less than six months. It may be costly, but I would like to think of it more as investing on my sanity...hahaha! I love coming home because it offers me an opportunity to reconnect with friends and family. I can do that online, sure, but nothing beats seeing them and actually hugging and kissing them. To a certain extent, it is also indulgence on my part, because I can be the makulit Roma that everyone has come to love (I would like to think it is that! hahaha!).
However, coming home this time is slightly different - I am distracted and restless. The upcoming wedding is stressful - I am going to be a bridesmaid and the wedding is out of town. I will only be staying in the country for a little over a week - thus I need to cram dealing with banks, checkups, trips to the spa and the parlor, seeing friends, watching cable TV, etc in 10 days. I have yet to recover from the stress of losing my wallet and my Overseas Employment Certificate. There is also an amount of stress from the fact that I have lost two relatives in a span of 9 days and that I have not been able to see my relatives during this difficult time.
The process of returning to the Philippines can also be very exhausting - making sure you book the flights at the right time (especially when there are promos), planning the logistics (we don't have a car and we live 2 hours away from the airport) and deciding what to do, who to meet, etc. Then there is the herculean task of packing - baggage limit can be anything from 20-35kg and so far I have managed to bring a variety of things - an LCD TV, bottles of perfume, chocolates, books, a flat iron and even old clothes! Guess I truly have become your typical OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker), sans the glitter of gold jewelry and leather jackets, hahaha!
At the airport, you can easily distinguish the Pinoys from the rest of the world - they like to be in clusters and seem to be chatting noisily all the time! At a glance, you will think that they are all friends, but if you listen close enough, they all just met at the airport!!! Enough said about not talking to strangers! Filipinos probably have the most interesting hand-carried luggage too - the biggest teddy bear, doll or toy car, the most number of toothpaste, coffeemate, nescafe, bath soap and chocolates ever! A great number of them tote laptops and the fanciest phones too. The others are garbed in their newest Nikes. You get the old-timer OFW who is usually the calmest (been there, done that) and you get the this-is-my-first-time-to-go-home-after-X-years-and-I'm-so-excited-can't-you-tell lot who are obviously the noisiest. There is a mix of anxiety and longing in the air - ate is coming home to introduce a foreigner boyfriend or a child fathered by a foreigner, kuya is nervous to see what has become of his family after ten years, ate finally coming home after escaping from an employer from hell, kuya proudly telling everyone that his son is finishing college and you have the likes of me who just want to come home, chill out and gain a piece of her sanity back.
Once the purser announces that the plane has landed at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, the plane bursts into life. People start bringing out their phones long before the plane reaches full stop. Some even clap their hands, overjoyed that they have finally reached their homeland. As the tube connects to the plane, people jump up and reach for their stuff in the overhead cabin. What ensues after is a mad rush to get out of the plane and survive the queues at the Immigration. Once at the baggage carousels, there is a market-like atmosphere. One by one, the luggage emerge - a balikbayan box filled with more soap, chocolate, towels, clothes and toys, 32-inch LCD TVs from every manufacturer known - and the addresses listed come from everywhere, Cagayan in the North to Davao in the South! The passengers all look haggard but still manage to smile. The Pinoy, always the gentleman, never forgets to assist the Pinay in pulling out the luggage from the carousel. Shouts of "Kabayan, salamat!" (Thank you, fellow Pinoy!) and "Ingat!" (Take care!) abound.
After leaving the Arrivals area, Pinoys then have to maneuver their way to the winding ramp to see the eagerly-awating relatives on the other side. Again, you will hear the petite Pinays letting out squeals because they are too small to resist the gravity and end up getting dragged by the trolley filled with heavy luggage. By the time everyone reaches the ramp, they are partly running, crying and laughing! The passengers now join a sea of confused faces as everyone is trying to locate their loved ones. It is only a matter of time before everyone finds each other and the confusion, longing and anxiety are replaced with laughter, smiles, hugs and kisses. The foreigner boyfriend gets a warm hug from his girlfriend's mother. The half-Pinoy, half-foreigner kid becomes the apple of everyone's eye. The father gets teary-eyed to see his kids all grown up. As for me, I always get the shock of my life because my mom just appears from out of nowhere and says Boo! (I guess I have always been scared of big crowds so I rely on my mother to find me all the time!)
Excuse me while I enjoy watching cable from my LCD TV and my aircon. :)
However, coming home this time is slightly different - I am distracted and restless. The upcoming wedding is stressful - I am going to be a bridesmaid and the wedding is out of town. I will only be staying in the country for a little over a week - thus I need to cram dealing with banks, checkups, trips to the spa and the parlor, seeing friends, watching cable TV, etc in 10 days. I have yet to recover from the stress of losing my wallet and my Overseas Employment Certificate. There is also an amount of stress from the fact that I have lost two relatives in a span of 9 days and that I have not been able to see my relatives during this difficult time.
The process of returning to the Philippines can also be very exhausting - making sure you book the flights at the right time (especially when there are promos), planning the logistics (we don't have a car and we live 2 hours away from the airport) and deciding what to do, who to meet, etc. Then there is the herculean task of packing - baggage limit can be anything from 20-35kg and so far I have managed to bring a variety of things - an LCD TV, bottles of perfume, chocolates, books, a flat iron and even old clothes! Guess I truly have become your typical OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker), sans the glitter of gold jewelry and leather jackets, hahaha!
At the airport, you can easily distinguish the Pinoys from the rest of the world - they like to be in clusters and seem to be chatting noisily all the time! At a glance, you will think that they are all friends, but if you listen close enough, they all just met at the airport!!! Enough said about not talking to strangers! Filipinos probably have the most interesting hand-carried luggage too - the biggest teddy bear, doll or toy car, the most number of toothpaste, coffeemate, nescafe, bath soap and chocolates ever! A great number of them tote laptops and the fanciest phones too. The others are garbed in their newest Nikes. You get the old-timer OFW who is usually the calmest (been there, done that) and you get the this-is-my-first-time-to-go-home-after-X-years-and-I'm-so-excited-can't-you-tell lot who are obviously the noisiest. There is a mix of anxiety and longing in the air - ate is coming home to introduce a foreigner boyfriend or a child fathered by a foreigner, kuya is nervous to see what has become of his family after ten years, ate finally coming home after escaping from an employer from hell, kuya proudly telling everyone that his son is finishing college and you have the likes of me who just want to come home, chill out and gain a piece of her sanity back.
Once the purser announces that the plane has landed at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, the plane bursts into life. People start bringing out their phones long before the plane reaches full stop. Some even clap their hands, overjoyed that they have finally reached their homeland. As the tube connects to the plane, people jump up and reach for their stuff in the overhead cabin. What ensues after is a mad rush to get out of the plane and survive the queues at the Immigration. Once at the baggage carousels, there is a market-like atmosphere. One by one, the luggage emerge - a balikbayan box filled with more soap, chocolate, towels, clothes and toys, 32-inch LCD TVs from every manufacturer known - and the addresses listed come from everywhere, Cagayan in the North to Davao in the South! The passengers all look haggard but still manage to smile. The Pinoy, always the gentleman, never forgets to assist the Pinay in pulling out the luggage from the carousel. Shouts of "Kabayan, salamat!" (Thank you, fellow Pinoy!) and "Ingat!" (Take care!) abound.
After leaving the Arrivals area, Pinoys then have to maneuver their way to the winding ramp to see the eagerly-awating relatives on the other side. Again, you will hear the petite Pinays letting out squeals because they are too small to resist the gravity and end up getting dragged by the trolley filled with heavy luggage. By the time everyone reaches the ramp, they are partly running, crying and laughing! The passengers now join a sea of confused faces as everyone is trying to locate their loved ones. It is only a matter of time before everyone finds each other and the confusion, longing and anxiety are replaced with laughter, smiles, hugs and kisses. The foreigner boyfriend gets a warm hug from his girlfriend's mother. The half-Pinoy, half-foreigner kid becomes the apple of everyone's eye. The father gets teary-eyed to see his kids all grown up. As for me, I always get the shock of my life because my mom just appears from out of nowhere and says Boo! (I guess I have always been scared of big crowds so I rely on my mother to find me all the time!)
Excuse me while I enjoy watching cable from my LCD TV and my aircon. :)
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